vvant:

im just so glad the word “ugh” was invented

529,984 notes

poryqon:

if you dont eat the pizza crust you are weak and natural selection is coming for you

798,394 notes

amerlcanapparel:

google is great because you can ask something really obvious and nobody has to know

223,144 notes

bryko:

bryko:

how the fuck does Old Man Jenkins weigh 250 pounds if Spongebob weighs 1 ounce

image

348,759 notes

zobb:

cry me a lake by justin timberriver

273,846 notes

jimdoesntcarrey:

hairdresser: what do you want me to do?

me: just a trim thanks

hairdresser: no problem 

me: image

127,419 notes

phantomdoodler:

"what would you do if you won the lottery?"

image

91,546 notes

therorasaurus:

so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself. 

631,772 notes

sisterjudyjudybobudy:

weetbixgod:

hotdadcalendar:

I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes

Babies have no concept of object permanence

That’s one of the sickest burns I’ve ever read. 

338,465 notes

saydolly:

Aziz Ansari is like the king of callouts.

(Source: renloras)

546,594 notes

naturallywholocked:

if a girl asks you for a tampon, I dont care how much you hate that bitch if you have one you hand it over no one deserves that level of hell

105,933 notes

peacesword:

psyofficial:

are you from tennessee because your the only te

nnis player in the world congratulations

85,661 notes